No Gnus is Good Gnus

Well, I'm back from my mammo and ultrasound. It all went uneventfully. The radiologist and sonographer didn't say they saw anything, so that's either very good or very, very bad. The sonographer said she was thinking swollen lymph node or a little clogged duct. Yay!

In case you're curious about what happens when you have a mammogram done, here is everything you need to know:

1) You cannot wear deodorant or perfume. Also, no stripper glitter if you are an Exotic Entertainer.

2) You must fill out a very detailed history of your maternal and paternal family legacy of cancer. Good times.

3) You're lead to an inner sanctum waiting area with a little changing room for you to disrobe from the waist up. You get one of those high fashion hospital "gowns". Put it on with the opening in front.

4) Then you wait in the inner sanctum waiting room.

5) They call your name and you are lead to the room with The Breast Vice 2000, aka The Squisher. The Squisher is your friend.

6) Ditch your modesty at the door people, because now it's time to release the puppies.

7) Your technician will then apply some sticky BB's to your nipples. They're like undersized pasties with a pinhead sized metal ball in the center. They show up on the image, they are used as markers on the film.

8) On The Squisher, there is a bottom tray (where the film goes in) and a top tray. The bottom tray moves up and down to adjust for your height. Once your Girl is situated on the bottom tray, the top tray adjusts downward to compress. The compression is uncomfortable. I will not lie to you. But it lasts a maximum of 10 seconds, while you hold your breath (so you don't move and blur the image) and the technician hides behind a lead curtain (while your brain is 6" away from the source of radiation - someone explain that to me?) while the image is zapped. Repeat on opposite titoni.

9) Then they adjust The Squisher to repeat the compression from a side view. This is just as uncomfortable as the first time. It never hurts any less. Then you switch sides and do the other lady lump's side view.

10) Put yer top back on. You're done.

My technician came in, started asking me questions about The Lump and then said "Oh I need more films" and left me all alone. To freak out. Thinking about nothing else but The Lump.

I panicked and I prayed and I cried and I told God I was so scared. That I needed Him. That I needed Him to comfort me. That I needed Him to show me He was there right with me in that room at that very second.

I opened my eyes, and right where my view lay on the wall, there was a small gold statuette of this:


Christ The Healer.

I look behind me and You're there, then up ahead and You're there too.

I will get a Radiologist's report in 3 to 5 business days, but until then I am okay.

I am okay, because Christ The Healer is here.

It's Lump

Lately I've been singing my own bastardized version of POT USA's "Lump" in my head. It goes like this:

It's lump
It's lump
It's lump
It's in my breast
It's lump
It's lump
It's lump
I'm mighty stressed

Anyways, all jokes aside it has been a nightmare trying to find out what my mystery lump is. On Monday morning, I called my OB/Gyn and got in right away. She palpated around in there and sent me with a lab order for an ultrasound. I called to schedule the ultrasound and was told I could only have an ultrasound if I had a mammogram first. So then I called my doctor back and left a message with the nurses that I needed new orders drawn up to include the mammo. And I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until about 20 hours later, I called and went T-Rex on their voicemail asking why I hadn't been called back, explaining that I could not live not knowing what this lump was that I needed a return call back immediately. I was nice about it, but I was firmly aggressive. Hey, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

So they called me back and then they set up the new order including the mammo and ultrasound. I then called scheduling back to book my exams and I was told their next available was...

...August 28th!

AW HALE NO!

I responded that I could not possibly wait that long, that this was not a regular scheduled mammo, it was due to a suspicious lump, that I have had masses removed before and that my maternal grandmother passed of breast cancer so I absolutely positively could NOT be asked to wait that long to have my tests done. She said that was the first available, they could only book me then and I said that was unacceptable. I was near tears when she finally said she would ask the radiologists if they could fit me into the schedule sooner and she would call me back later. That was late yesterday afternoon.

So early afternoon today, she finally called back and said they could "squeeze me in" (mental image: squeezed pancake boob + this verbiage = me cracking up over the phone to hospital person and her not getting why it was funny) tomorrow at 8:30. I need to be at the hospital, an hour's drive from here at 8 am. I am actively recruiting a sitter for The Moose if anyone is interested. I will have my mammo at 8:30 and my ultrasound at 10:30 and hopefully be on my way home by 11:30 to sit and wait on pins and needles and needles and pins until the radiologist's reports are complete.

In other news, this morning after dropping Tim off at the train station I decided I'd swing through the Dunkin' drive through for a small iced. After picking that up, I remembered that I needed to have some blood work drawn at the hospital (routine diabetes stuff, nothing exciting) so I determined I'd have my coffee at the ready for after my fasting blood work was drawn. So I headed downtown towards the hospital, and on my way there I ended up at a traffic light right next to my next door neighbor from the house I grew up in.

We loved them. Mark and Debbie were like surrogate parents to my brothers and I. We used to joke that we wanted to knock down the fence between our two houses and build an addition to merge our two houses together, and then we'd all live as one big family in one big long, house.

So there I am next to Mark's minivan and I honked and waved like a crazy lady. He gave me a half-assed wave and I could tell he didn't recognize me. I called my mother and asked if they moved down by me, or if she knew what they were doing here. Her answer was sobering.

Debbie has been having heart problems, and she was at the Heart Hospital for some tests. I thought maybe she had some arterial plaque and needed a stent or something minor. Oh, no. She had a pacemaker put in. She's about 50. The pacemaker wasn't working and things were getting dire. The Heart Hospital was attached to where I was going to get my labs, so after I went to the lab I found out what room Debbie was in and Jax and I went up to see her.

She only has 25% heart function right now, and she only has that because of the drugs she's on. Today she was put on the donor list, and they are hopeful that a donor heart will come through for her very soon. She will soon be transferred to the University of Chicago Medical Center downtown, where they will hopefully do a transplant.

She looked so frail. So tired. So pale. She said she didn't want a transplant, and that she was "just tired, and tired of being sick." I felt like she was telling me that she had already given up. I held her hand for an arterial blood gas draw, and I prayed with her and left, we're heading back in a little bit.

My heart hurts, and my mind is swirling with perspective and grief.

The lump has moved from my breast, to my throat.

I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too

Psalm 139 was the focus of Sunday morning's worship service and it touched me, though I didn't know why. The message of God always being by our side and being the great Creator who knows us inside and out made me think of my dear friend who really needs God's comfort right now. Her marriage is going through a horrible trial, and my heart breaks for her pain.

To share the passage:

Psalm 139 (The Message)

1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.

I'm an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can't take it all in!

7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
to the far western horizon,
You'd find me in a minute—
you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.

13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

17-20 Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
God, I'll never comprehend them!
I couldn't even begin to count them—
any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!

23-24 Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.

During worship, I reflected on how blessed and how lucky we are to always have God there to cover us, shield and protect us and heal our hearts with His comfort.

And then I returned home, and while laying Jackson down for a nap I decided to lay down myself. And while I was laying down, I took a minute to try to figure out why my right armpit felt weird.

And then I found it.

I have a lump, the size of a walnut.

A lump.

Again.

And all I could do was cry, and even though I knew God was preparing my heart for this discovery with the bible verses that spoke to my heart this morning I still cried.

And I cried and I cried and I cried and I prayed and I cried while I was praying.

All I can think of is who will take care of my baby if something happens to me and I can't. stop. crying.

I didn't sleep much last night. When I wasn't busy crying and feeling sorry for myself, I was praying, praying lots of things.

God, please heal me.
God, please comfort me.
God, I'm scared.
God, why did You let this happen to me? I'm trying so hard to honor You with my life.
God, please take care of my family.
God, why?
God, why?
God, why?

When Jackson wakes up in the middle of the night, I rub his back and "shhh shhh" him back to sleep. I needed God to shhh shhh me last night.

He wasn't there.

God, why?

Amor Jueves

What an awesome week it has been!

1) Hubby got me hooked up in the living room. He plugged my laptop into our 50" plasma. Holy huge monitor, Batman! We went to Best Buy and got a wireless keyboard and mouse for me, but it kind of sucks so we just ordered a Bluetooth wireless keyboard and mouse set. The regular wireless doesn't have as much range as we'd like. Once the Bluetooth set comes in, it is going to be the bomb diggity!

2) Hubby also hooked up the surround sound properly in the living room. This means we can watch movies on the big TV with the full aural experience. We're so psyched about it, we're already planning a Super Bowl party! Woot!

3) Another bonus of the sweetass setup: I can now play my mp3's from my iTunes on my laptop through the surround sound. This makes housecleaning so much more fun!

4) I've been on the prowl for a nice area rug for the living room that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. I figure with babies and dogs, I probably shouldn't spend more than $100 because the rug will be destroyed pretty quickly. I found this super cute one at IKEA for $70. It has our current colors in it, but enough other colors that it will pretty much go with anything we throw down. It's a little more foofy than that which I would ordinarily choose but for $70, I wasn't going to fuss. Hoorah!

5) I'm still loving the H-E-double hockey sticks out of the Ecover dishwasher tablets. They are so seriously awesome! Oh, and did I mention I get them for wholesale through my co-op? *sings* It rocks!

6) I officially have a crawler. Jax has been jetting all over the house, he has also decided he wants to be a stair explorer. He's stinking fast on the stairs too. I have to check on him every 10 seconds, because if I wait 20 seconds he's already halfway up the stairs. This would be okay if he also knew how to get DOWN. Unfortunately, he thinks that if he just sits down, points his butt downwards and leans back he can get down. He hasn't mastered the idea of "gravity" yet! We decided to teach him how to do the stairs instead of just blocking them off. I mean, he has to learn how to do it sometime.

7) I love Jackson's CURLS! I've researched SkinDeep to find a safe hair product I can use to hold his curls with. I'm ordering him a tube of Kiss My Face Upper Management Hair Gel with my next co-op order. His curls are So. Stinking. Cute. Sometimes, I can hardly believe he's mine.


So...what are you loving today?

Reunited, and it feels so good!

Tonight was night #1 of my high school class reunion 2 day event. More importantly to me, it was the dinner I had planned. It all went so well! It was so excited to see it all come together and everyone had such a lovely time.

It's so weird seeing all the boys I went to high school with all grown up though. They're all daddies and stuff. Together now, we are: missionaries, pastors, doctors, accountants, mommies, nurses, teachers, computer professionals, engineers, inventors, coaches...and I'm sure the list goes on. All in all, we turned out to be some pretty awesome kids. (Which we all knew 20 years ago!)

It's supremely cool to still be friends with and want to see the kids I knew 20 years ago. I'm so thankful that my parents decided to send me to a small, private, Christian school. I didn't see how valuable it was then. I went to high school with some of the highest quality individuals on the planet, I am sure of it. It rocked to see them again tonight!

Feed My Sheep

We took the Moose out to his first volunteer activity tonight. When we were dating and newlyweds, we did a lot of volunteer stuff to help the homeless, the hungry, the huddled masses yearning to be free and whatnot. One of our early dates was cooking Thanksgiving dinner at a homeless shelter. Romantic, let me tell you. :) (Actually, that night was awesome, it was the first time hubby said the "L" word to me. The nice "L" word. Not the Showtime "L" word. Not that lesbians aren't nice, I'm sure they're...um...charming. Argh! HE SAID HE LOVED ME AND IT WAS AWESOME! Sheesh.)

*gracefully extricates self out of self-dug hole*

But since the baby came, volunteerism had somewhat fallen by the wayside, while still holding a strong place in our hearts.

Tonight there was a group meal packing activity at our church for Feed My Starving Children, a charity based out of Minneapolis. We, along with a lot of other volunteers, packed 27,000 meals in 2 hours! I wore Jackson on my back in the Ergo and he got his own hairnet. :) We would have taken photos, but we were kind of busy packing meals for starving children in Haiti.

We were the only fools who brought a baby to pack meals for the starving children of the world. Our idea was that we wanted Jackson to just be so used to giving to help the less fortunate that it's just part of life and not a special occasion. So we started him young, and we'll continue to bring him along so that giving back becomes just as normal and necessary to him as taking a bath or brushing his teeth.

The statistics on how many empoverished children die of starvation are absolutely staggering. Babies, just like yours and mine die every day because there is no food. It's heartbreaking. The work we did tonight will feed 74 kids for a year, they say. 74 Mooses. All I could do was hold my little boy and weep, while crying out prayers of thanks for everything we have.

Thank you, Father. Don't ever let me forget to thank You.

The Holy Grail

I have been on the prowl for an earth-friendly automatic dishwasher detergent that works. The key words there are "that works". A lot of the "green" detergents don't clean very well or leave a skunky residue (and it doesn't matter if you use rinse aid, either!).

I was getting really frustrated, until I met Ecover Automatic Dishwashing Tablets. They actually cleaned BETTER than my old Cascade powder! Consumer Reports has even tested them all side by side and they agree. Unfortunately, I ended up trying every single other "green" dishwasher detergent on the market before finding this little gem. I was getting so angry, because I was having to wash a lot of stuff twice. And really, how ecological is it to waste all that water washing things two times?

I love, love, love! this stuff. I will not be going back to Cascade again! Suck it, phosphates!

SPECIAL EDITION: Love MONDAY!!!!

I just got my co-op order, and I am soooo delighted in my haul.

1) Seventh Generation unbleached, 100% recycled, min. 80% PCW paper products. For those not in the know, PCW is Post Consumer Waste. Here's the problem - we all put our excess paper in the recycling like good citizens. Then it goes to the recyclery. However, manufacturers typically use virgin wood/paper before they would recycled so then our recycled paper that we did the right thing by sorting and recycling ends up being....WASTE! This is the ugly side of recycling that nobody talks about. What can you do about it? Switch to products that use recycled paper, specifically PCW paper. Yes, it's a wee bit more expensive but it's one of those things that I pony up the pennies for based on principle. It's a tiny thing we can all do to make a difference in the world we are leaving our babies. If not you, who?

2) Honeybee Gardens Water-Based Nail Enamel. I can now paint my piggies in the same room as Jackson. It doesn't smell, goes on smooth, dries quick as a wink and removes with rubbing alcohol. No stinky nail polish remover required either. (In Orbit Gum Girl Voice) Fabulous!

3) Rescue Remedy. I gave 2 drops to the Moose today during his mid-morning meltdown. It was like diffusing a ticking baby bomb. He went from 100 to 0 in 60 seconds. (Orbit Gum Girl Voice again) Fabulous!

4) gDiapers! I didn't get these through my co-op, but oh how I wish I could! I instead got a free sneak-peek sample at the redesigned pants and oh me oh my am I head over heels in LOVE with them!!!! The old pants leaked on Jackson, and I posted them for sale on the gDiapers Yahoo! Group. The actual owner/founder of gDiapers emailed me privately apologizing for the difficulties I was having with her product, and offered to let me test prototypes of the upcoming improved version. I was ticked at the problems I was having, but absolutely TICKLED that a company would take my needs seriously. A few versions and several months later, the new design is here and I give it phat mad props all around! Super comfy leg gussets, super soft and stretchy waistband, softer and more breathable cover, better snap in liner, sweet new color palette, even a cute new print on the inside of the cover! I LOVE THEM! I had the opportunity to meet the founder of gDiapers that I had been corresponding with via email, Kim, on Saturday at the LaLeche League International Conference. It was a big warm fuzzy to see the person behind the product. Kim says they are now working on the release of an updated flushable insert design - just when I didn't think gDiapers could get any better. I am happier than a clam to finally bid my occasional use of Pampers adieu in favor of a more eco-friendly product. (Orbit Girl Voice) FABULOUS!

T.G.F.C. Thank God For Coffee!

Behold, the power of the bean...

I woke up so sleep-deprived and exhausted after a very bad baby night. 1 large Dunkin' iced later, I just semi-eloquently gave another interview to a newspaper regarding my activities and support for Republicans For Obama.

Jackson provided background music on his alligator xylophone. :)

I'm getting pretty good at these interviews, it's very exciting. I get so fired up when I talk about The Big O, I need a hit of my Rescue Remedy to bring myself down a notch. *pant pant pant*

Arboretum!

Yesterday we met Jackson's BFF Josh and his parents and Grandma at the Morton Arboretum to take Josh's 1st birthday pictures. While there, we snapped a few shots of our little Moosie Man:







And the bland pasta last night soaked up the excess sodium well. Dinner was a big hit! :)

Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam!

I'm making dinner (it's a barbequey tofu thing over whole wheat pasta - it sounded good in my head, now I'm questioning myself) when I decided to "kick it up a notch" and add some "Bam!"

So I pulled out my Emeril's Essence and proceeded to open out the "Dump Out The Entire Bottle" side on accident instead of opening the "Sprinkle Out A Little Bit" side.

There is a little bit too much "Bam!" in my dinner now. I'll bet my husband will still eat it. Happily. This is a big reason why I love him so much.

I am hoping the non-salting of my pasta water will result in blander pasta that will hide the salty sauce. I'll letcha know later. :)

Love Thursday

Well boys and girls, it's that time again. Here's what I'm loving this week:

1) Our church's Wednesday night Believer's Life Enrichment Classes. We just started a series on marriage-building and so far we've gotten a lot out of it! It makes me really happy, considering that we have an awesome marriage to begin with. I didn't think we needed much improvement, but I'm all for investing in a solid foundation for our family's future.

2) My new bag. It's my Fall/Winter bag, but I swapped out bags so I could wash the Spring/Summer bag. Now the Spring/Summer bag is drying and I am having a hard time switching back. Oh me, oh my. I love the pocketude of the Vera Bradley Miller Bag. So. Freaking. Awesome.

3) My new SHOES! I have officially decided to invest in myself and start the Couch to 5k plan on Cool Running. So I jetted to Dick Pond's yesterday to be professionally fitted for appropriate gear. My head is still reeling over taking a SIZE 10! in running shoes, but they fit and they're SOOOOOO comfortable. I got these and they feel so good I want to wear them all the time. That's my incentive to get out and go though - I only let myself wear them when I'm going for my walk.

4) Glass and stainless steel. I am trying to phase out plastics at the Powers House, and step 1 is bottles, sippy cups, and drink carafes. This week I bought Jackson 2 sets of Evenflo glass bottles. I ordered us a bunch of Klean Kanteen bottles and sippys through a local vendor recently, and we just picked up a new glass pitcher for the fridge. Here's a very informative article that will explain the "why" to you.

5) Celestial Seasonings Vanilla Apple White Organic Tea. We drink A LOT of tea in this house, most of it iced greens and whites. We recently decided to go organic with our teas. I mean, we eat 90% organic anyways! Since tea is just the dried plant leaves, they seem like they'd be especially prone to high levels of whatever is used for pesticides. It's not that much more expensive than conventional teas, and this particular flavor is REALLY yummy. I just made up a pitcher (in the new glass pitcher) and sweetened it with stevia. It's chilling in the fridge for tomorrow - yum!

So...what are you lovin' today?

Goach Hunters

Hubby and I have taken up a new sport in the land of Naperville Housewives. You see, there are several key components involved in being a pretentious Naperville Housewife.

1) SUV. Preferably a status make. The Lexus SUV is popular. (Or as I call it, the "glorified Toyota".)

2) Stay at home wife/mom status. Work is for suckas. Of course, that makes all of our husbands suckas, but let's not talk about that.

3) A ring of no less than 2 carats.

4) If you are a Mommy, you must have a Bugaboo or Peg Perego stroller. BOB Revolutions are also acceptable if you are a jogger. Not an Aria, though (the cheap Peg). It must be the Pliko P3. YES, I have a P3 but I bought it for its awesomeness, I had no idea it was a "status" baby carriage. I find this whole idea of a status stroller laughable. What's even funnier about the whole Naperville Stroller Brigade is that they are MANY far more pricey luxury strollers out there, but for some reason they have decided that THESE are the must-have buggies.

5) Coach bag. Again, there are many more pricey (and better looking) bags out there, but the must-have bag here is a C-logo Coach. The lust for Coach is so strong in our little burg that there is a glut of what I call "Goach". A Goach bag is a Coach bag knock-off.

I find the heavy saturation of population of Goach bags absolutely hilarious. First of all, Coach bags aren't all that great! That logo is FUG. They are overpriced for the quality (the old leather bags used to be really great). Tim and I have become Goach Hunters, and we're so good now we can spot them from a block away! (For the record, my fall/winter bag that I just picked out last Friday is a Vera Bradley Miller bag in Cambridge.)

Here are some key Goach identifiers:

Funky color combinations. Most Coach is in normal, neutral color schemes aside from their zany patchwork bags, which give me a headache. The design is hideous, it looks like a purse having a seizure. And then once you figure out you just paid $200 for a bag made from the selvages and scraps off the production room floor, you will probably have a seizure too!

The "G" instead of the "C" for a logo.

A fully serif or sans serif "C" for a logo. The true Coach logo "C" is serif on the top, and sans serif on the bottom. I submit for your review, Exhibit A.

There. Now all of you can come to my town and join me in Goach Hunting. And you know the bitches with the fake bags are probably also wearing cubic zirconium.

In the Army Now!

Or at least, that's what I thought I wanted. And then today happened. Today he took his first unassisted step. I should have done a pool to bet which he would do first - walk or crawl. He still isn't "crawling" yet, but tonight he perfected the army crawl. He started at my feet on the sofa and he's in the front hall (within eyesight) right now. He's been toying with the idea of crawling for a couple of months now. He just decided that today was the day!

It's very exciting, because the "I want to crawlllllllll! (insert wail here)" frustration is now over. For him, the frustration is over anyways. Tomorrow morning it's off to Babies R Us for cabinet latches, baby knob protectors, and outlet covers. And probably a baby jail.

Just as his frustration ends, mine will begin. I've seen how crazy it can be to chase and contain a BOTM (Baby On The Move), and I am TERRIFIED!

Love Thursday

I know we've all missed my weekly installations of Love Thursday (okay maybe just I did), so here's what I'm loving this week:

1) Baby Savanna! My friend Chris had her firstborn yesterday. I am very excited for Chris and her husband Tim. They are going to be such awesome parents. They're both super fun and loving people. Little Savvy (isn't that the cutest nickname?!?) came out with a full, dark swath of hair and her mama's cute nose. Babies are MAGIC.

2) Today's weather. 80's and breezy. Jax and I sat in his room playing with his helium balloon. He was mystified to watch me release it then catch it again after the wind swirled it around the room. I pretended to guide it back to me with my hands as the breeze carried it through his room. It was so fun to sit and play with my boy.

3) REAL maple syrup. I've been making tons of pancakes lately, and the real thing is so much yummier than Mrs. Butterworth's. So, so, so much yummier.

4) Trader Joe's Coastal Fume Blanc. I just had a wee glass for dessert. It is so light, drinkable, sweet and smooth. Amazingly good for a $6 wine.

5) PENZEY'S. I've stopped in a few times for some seasoning blends to spice up my life in the kitchen. Thou must have the Fox Point Blend for roast potatoes, and their Bold Taco Seasoning is fantastique!

Whatchoo lovin' today?

Jam on it!

Sorry I've been a bad blogger lately. After berry picking at Plow Creek Farm near Tiskilwa, IL (about a 2 hours drive from our new house) we came home overloaded with blueberries and strawberries. U-Pick blueberries were $2 a pound and strawberries were $2 a quart. We picked all we could and schlepped home tons of berries.

This explains the multiple berry-faced photos of Jackson having blueberry pancakes. He REALLY loves blueberry pancakes!


We're pancaked out though (at least I am, of making them!) so it's time to do something different with our berries. So I've been making jam.

Plow Creek is an organic farm that has applied for certification but is in the 3 year USDA waiting period for certification. So, for all intents and purposes they're organic. So I've been making vats of sugar free (sweetened with Stevia) organic homemade jam, and can I just tell you that Smucker's ain't got nothin' on me? Not to sound overly conceited, but my jam is seriously awesome.

I'm hosting my cousin Sue overnight tomorrow night, so I'll be picking up some good bagels to serve her for breakfast along with some fresh jam. Yum!

News Flashes

So, I still don't know what I believe regarding the whole Tongues thing.

But, after a few more church services and activities I feel VERY comfortable in the new church. And I have been praying for an answer and guidance.

More specifically, I told God that if the gift of tongues is a genuine gift for modern believers then He should give it to me. Call it Doubting Thomas Complex, but I need to experience this firsthand to know it's "real". So far, no dice. Only normal babbling from me, nothing unusual.

After taking a break from my cleanse to honor my best friend's birthday, RibFest, and various other family activities that involved eating, I am going back on my cleanse platform tomorrow. Whee!

Speaking of RibFest, here's a couple of pics from the festivities. We attended with Coupon Chris and her two boys.

Here's Moose bouncing and laughing with his favorite babysitter - I love how you can tell he's laughing by how plump his cheeks are!



And here's Andrew, Chris' son. He's cheating on his betrothed, Gracie in this picture with a little cutie from the fest named Lily. SHHHHH don't tell!




Here's my little Moose, out to lunch with Mommy, Christy and his BFF Josh at Panera. He gobbles up Panera grilled cheese with gusto! (As long as it is cut into strips).



And here's Jax getting his splash on at playgroup:



And that's all the news that's fit to blog! Peace out!

Livestrong

My husband has become single minded in his quest for a bicycle. He is seriously driving me crazy with his constant Googling of product reviews and scouring catalogs and hunting down bike shops. He is a man possessed by one desire: his desire for a bicycle.

I say "bicycle" because I accidentally referred to it simply as a "bike" earlier today when I was talking to my baby bro. He was all confused.

Me: "Tim is so crazy, he wants this big, fancy bike. He's obsessed with it."
Bro: "Oh yeah?"
Me: "So I have been telling him that we need to save up for it and wait. But I ordered the one he wants with all the options he wants behind his back, and I just picked it up. It's in the back of the Jeep, and I'm going to pick him up at the train station so I can surprise him with it."
Bro: "What kind of car do you have?"
Me: "Jeep Grand Cherokee."
Bro: "How did you fit a bike in the back of your car?"
Me: "I turned down the split back seat and then lifted up the bike and rolled it in. A guy at the store helped me."
Bro: "How are you going to get it out?"
Me: "Tim and I will get it out together."
Bro: "Isn't it kind of heavy for your car?"
Me: "Nah, it's OK."
Bro: "What does he want to do, take it on road trips?"
Me: "No, he wants to go riding trails by our house. He wants to get one of those trailer things for the baby and pull the baby in the trailer behind his bike."
Bro: "You're going to let him do that? Is that safe?"
Me: "Yeah, I read up on it and it seems pretty safe."
Bro: "You're going to let him pull the baby in a trailer behind a bike on trails?"
Me: "Well, yeah. The baby wears a helmet and the trailer has rollbars."
Bro: "Aren't you worried about the baby getting burned? From the heat? That doesn't sound very safe."
Me: "There's a sunshade and we can always use sunscreen."
Bro: "No, from the heat and the EXHAUST."

And this is when I realized that the bike I was talking about was not the same bike my brother was talking about. :)

I pulled up to the train station and waited. The bicycle waited in the back, hidden under a blanket so he couldn't see the outline of the bike through the windows. As Tim approached the Jeep, I got out and walked towards the back of the car. I opened the hatch and said, "There's no room for you to sit in the Jeep."

I pulled the blanket off the bike and said, "But you can ride home" revealing his new bike, a helmet, a kevlar lock, and a wireless bicycle computer.

My husband looked like he had won the lottery. He said, "No. Way."

I said, "Way!"

He gave me a big hug and we drove off into the sunset.

If anybody has a spare Lance Armstrong bracelet, it would make a great gag gift. :)

SEVEN!

I married the perfect guy for me. I didn't marry the Perfect Guy, he doesn't exist. But I married the perfect guy *for me* which is pretty much as good as anybody can do. (It was a tall order. Literally and figuratively. Remind me to explain my 6-6-6 Theorem on Husband Finding later.)

"Seven" is our little exclamation that we say whenever one of us reads the other's mind. It comes from an old Powers Family tale, where his mother asked him what number she was thinking of, and he said seven. She said they were so connected, they could read each other's thoughts. She's freaking weird. If she could read his thoughts, she'd be really pissed at what he thinks of her...anyhow... whenever either of us finishes the other's sentence, or says exactly what the other was thinking, we say "Seven!" or my version is "Quit sevening me!"

We've switched the dogs to a raw diet now. Which is SO EASY to do since we're vegetarians! Har har. It totally grosses me out, but the girls love it and they are doing really well on it. I have never seen brighter eyes, shinier coats, whiter teeth or more energy out of them. They yummy down on their meat like it is the most awesome thing ever. They were introduced to raw by eating chicken. Once they figured out how it went and were okay with the chicken, I get to introduce other varieties of meats. So today we introduced fish and the girls each got a whole tilapia. And when I say "whole", I mean "WHOLE". Eyeballs and all. Fins. Tail. Gaping mouth. Full body sushi. As I passed out the fishies, I sang the first two lines of "Fish Heads" by Barnes & Barnes. And wouldn't you know it, my darling husband knows all of the lyrics. By heart. He finished the tune in his robust baritone while I laughed my ass off.

When you meet the right guy, 6+6+6=7. It's the New Math.

Fish heads, Fish heads
Rolly polly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm

Fish heads, Fish heads
Rolly polly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm

In the morning
Laughing, happy
Fish Heads
In the evening
Floating in the soup

Fish heads, Fish heads
Rolly polly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm

Ask a Fish head
Anything you want to
They won't answer
They can't talk

Fish heads, Fish heads
Rolly polly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm

I took a Fish head
Out to see a movie
Didn't have to pay
To get it in

Fish heads, Fish heads
Rolly polly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm
They can't play baseball
They don't wear sweaters
They're not good dancers
They don't play drums

Fish heads, Fish heads
Rolly polly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm

Rolly polly Fish heads
Are never seen drinking
Cappacino in Italian restaurants
With Oriental women...Yeah

Fish heads, Fish heads
Rolly polly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm

Fish heads, Fish heads
Rolly polly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm...
(Yummm)

Fish heads, Fish heads
Rolly polly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm

Fish heads, Fish heads
Rolly polly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm
YEAH!!!!!!!!!

Tongues?

We're still finding a home church, we haven't found one that suits us yet. We found one that I really like, with one exception. They practice praying in tongues. It wouldn't be such a big deal, except that I have in the back of my head that I don't believe in that.

Which then forces me to ask myself WHY I don't believe in speaking in tongues, and to be honest I don't have a reason as to why I don't believe it. I was raised in a very sterile Baptist church, where we sang old fashioned hymns, said a hearty "Amen" and sat very quietly during the service. I enjoy a more spirited style of worship though. So many times in the Old Testament there are accounts of believers dancing and singing in worship of God, and I identify with that. When you are focused on how amazing God is, and how good He is in your life it is hard to NOT become physically energized and exuberant and to want to express your joy through raised hands or a little bounce (which is about as Charismatic as I get).

So why do I not believe in speaking in Tongues? I have a vague recollection of something about dispensations, but since I can't actually refer back to any Biblical evidence that this particular gift of the Spirit is no longer to be practiced, I feel like my "not believing in it" has no grounds.

So instead of actually getting something out of the service last night, I was focused on figuring out why I believe what I believe (do I even believe it?). So I guess in that way, church was a blessing because while everything they said floated somewhere up above my head, my faith was challenged. I think I'm going to have to study this more and pray on it. I'm beyond that phase of my faith where I blindly accept that which I'm told. I MUST search it out on my own and find my own truth. I don't want a pastor to feed me like a baby birdie. I need to get my own teeth into the Word, and have it speak to me so I can apply it to my life. I spent way too many years wearing skirts and not listening to the radio or watching movies because I was told to. I'm beyond bending to a minister's "because I said so". The only "because I said so" that matters to me now is God's - so I have to figure out what He says about this.

My experience with observing the practice of praying in tongues wasn't at all the mental image I had before witnessing it. There were no crazies rolling down the aisles like they were having a seizure. The people who prayed in tongues were quietly murmuring to themselves (so as not to make a show of it) in jibberish (I couldn't make out any of it) during prayer. So the prayer sounds like the pastor leading the prayer, with a background cacophony of everyone else doing their thing. The one thing I couldn't help but think is that this is what prayer must sound like to God anyway. Millions of people, around the world, each talking to God about what is important to them. And isn't it amazing that while I couldn't focus on what any one person was saying, God hears each person clearly and answers each prayer perfectly?

I'll be studying this and praying on it further. I'll let you know once I figure out what *I* believe - and why.

The Moose With The Sweetest Caboose

His Mooseness after Blueberry Pancakepalooza this past Sunday morning - hence the no shirt. No shirt = No blueberry stains!




Hard to believe he will be 9 months old this week!


His darling curls - I call it his "Grandma Perm"


I need to find some baby-safe "product" I can use to hold his curls. They are the cutest curls ever to grace a baby head. I want to eat them up!

Poop Talk

I hesitate to post details regarding my physical cleanse here, since who really wants to read about that?

If you do want to, I am logging my logs (bwah!) here: Master Cleanse Journal

Cleanse

Tomorrow begins my great adventure into The Master Cleanse. I will be kicking off my adventure this evening with a cup of Traditional Medicinals Smooth Move Tea (yes, as in "smooth move, ex-lax").

In the morning I am to glug down my Saline Wash, which consists of 32 oz. of warm water with 2 tsp. of sea salt. This is supposed to help wash all the crap (literally) out of me. Then for the next 10 days minimum, I will consume 60 oz. of the Master Cleanse "lemonade" which is 2 T freshly squeezed lemon juice, 2 T of maple syrup in 10 oz. water with cayenne pepper to taste.

During the detox, you do the tea at night and/or the saline wash in the morning if you feel you need the extra elimination assistance. Coming off the fast, you do a day of juice then a day of broth then a day of fruits and veggies before going back to real food. I want to see how much toxic detox I can get out of my body, I think I would benefit more from our vegetarian diet if I started with a clean slate.

And while I work on cleaning out my guts, I'm going to try to really focus on cleansing in other ways. I'll probably do a TCA peel to work out some of this hyperpigmentation junk I've got going on. I would like to not "need" foundation. I also want to focus on getting our home organized. We have too many boxes lying around half packed. We had to dig through them to find something, but then never got around to unpacking them fully. I need to work on that. And lastly, I'm going to work on some heart cleansing. I still need to work on surrounding myself with more love and peace and less temper and anger.

So, that's what I love today. I love love, and I'm going to work on surrounding myself with more of it.

I really should get those wrappers and empty cups out of the car...

But I can't. My ride has been officially Mom'd.

Baby I cannot wait until 2008...

I got a crush on Obama....

He named names!

In addition to Dada and Mama, tonight Jackson whipped out a stunner: "Kaykay". While petting our golden retriever, Katie. He had previously made mention of "Ella" (our yellow lab, Bella).

So this is how it works, then? One day they just babble nonsense, then the next day they start talking and they never shut up?

Does this mean that we can't change Katie's name? After getting to know her better, we've decided she's more of a Phoebe than a Katie. Like Phoebe from "Friends": very sweet, very devoted, very loving, very DUMB. In a very, very cute way.

Lovin' Every Minute Of It

Today I heart:

• Dos Perros. They're crazy, they're fun. They make messes and eat all the food Moose throws off his high chair tray. They shed, they chase bunnies in the yard and they bark their heads off at the mailman. But for all their nutty hijinks, they really are great dogs. They have endless patience with their baby, and their affection is unconditional and everlasting.
• My custom made microfiber swiffer cloths. I found a lady that makes them as a home based business, and I ordered 2 wet cloths and 2 dry cloths. I love the fact that they are washable and reusable. They do a fantastic job on the Pergo, and I don't fill a landfill with disposable fluff. Kim is awesome, and you should totally email her (KimmyJoyLing@aol.com) about getting some yourself.
• Moose's fascination with sitting around telling everyone about "Mama Mama Mama Mama Mama!" He's been babbling about Dada for months now - so it's about damn time!
• The local co-op I've found. Oh yes, now I shall order all my 100% recycled, 80% PCW TP at WHOLESALE, baby. And organic baby wash, and my toothpaste, and...well, you get it. All the products I would otherwise pay retail for at Whole Paycheck, I shall now get at wholesale. I get to save the planet WHILE stickin' it to The Man and there are few things on earth than make me happier than either of those two things. Combine them and I'm on cloud 10! (Higher than cloud 9).

Time to give my Moose a bath - peace out!

Flaxen locks

The much awaited new hairs pic:




I am still not satisfied with this much change though - I think I will be doing some shearing next week when I trek out to see Lisa My Hair Sherpa.

FIRST SENTENCE! and recipe - Tofu Enchiladas con Mole'

Jackson really doesn't "talk" he just kind of babbles. But he has clearly determined that Tim is Dada and I am Mama. (Why Dada comes first for virtually all babies confounds me. Completely NOT fair!) Anyways, this afternoon Jackson looked up at me and said, "Mama, baba!" I pulled a bottle out of his insulated cooler bag, he grabbed it and sucked it down. He actually told me what he wanted with words. Unbelievable! The kid can't crawl, but he can ask for his dinner by name. :)

Speaking of dinner, today dinner was Tofu Enchiladas con Mole'. I LOVE a good mole'. The best homemade mole' I've ever made is Rick Bayless' recipe. It is so labor intensive, I call it Two Day Mole'. Anyways, I didn't make my own mole' for this, I bought it in a jar. For jarred mole', Trader Joe's is the bomb-diggity. I actually think on the jar they call it Trader Jose. :)

1 jar red mole'
1 pkg soft tofu
8 tortillas
16 oz shredded cheese

Boil the block of tofu for 5 minutes to push the water out of it, then lift it out of the boiling water with a slotted spoon. Set it on a stack of towels and push down slightly on the top to drain. Crumble the block in a medium mixing bowl. Add 1/2 the jar of mole' and then 1/2 the package of shredded cheese. Blend thoroughly. Spoon a row of filling in the center of a tortilla, roll up and then place in a baking pan. Continue with remaining tortillas until all filling is used. Pour remainder of jar of mole' on top of enchiladas and then sprinkle with the remaining cheese. Cover pan with foil, then bake in a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes. Serve with a side of beans and rice for a protein-packed meal. I like to top my enchiladas with either plain yogurt or sour cream to cut the heat from the chilies in the mole'.

This meal is more "assembling" than cooking. You can put it together in advance and then bake it just before serving, too. You can serve a family of 4 adults for about $8, all inclusive and it tastes AMAZING. I use whole wheat flour tortillas for the fiber. YUM! This is also a great way to introduce tofu to your finicky husband, they would never guess that's what it is.

Baby just kicked...YOUR ASS!

In case you have missed Jenna Elfman's Mama Jams, peep this:

Love Thursday

Today I <3:

My Moose. He is just the best thing ever. He's delicious. Love love love love love love love My Moose!

Air Conditioning. Nope, it's not "green" but it became necessary today. Ahhh...sweet relief.

The Bark Park. Taking the girls out for a quick romp with some doggie friends makes for very pooped out puppies - which means a very quiet, tranquil evening! Hoorah!

Like, I don't know *bounces head from shoulder to shoulder*

I'm blonde again. Photos to follow. Tim's request. Hair is dry, but no "chemical haircut", thank God.

I'm not sure if I like it yet. It's VERY different.

Love Thursday

Today I'm lovin':

Being chosen as the leader for the State of Illinois Republicans for Obama organization. I'm so super psyched for this.

My bestest friend ever from High School, Crystal. We got to visit with her for a few hours today and it was so nice! She now lives about an hour and a half away from me, so visits are rare treats.

My signature lipstick, MAC Kinda Sexy. I love having a color that looks perfect on me no matter what. It's been my color since that long, intense search for "the color" last year - and a year later I'm through a whole tube of it, and not anywhere near sick of the shade. That's pretty something for someone who has never "finished" a whole product, ever.

Being the Change

I see you lookin' at me
Like I'm some kind of freak
Get up out of your seat
Why don't you do somethin'?
-- B. Spears

Are you sick of keeping the status quo? Tired of, like John Mayer so eloquently put it, "waiting on the world to change?"

Well, Darlings - so am I. And so I signed up to do something. I am officially volunteering for the Obama campaign. Illinois now has a Republicans For Obama organization, and I'm in it. I actually submitted to LEAD it. I'm kind of excited. I am sick to death of casting my vote and hoping others do the same. I am shocked and appalled that more people vote for American Idol than vote for our President!!!

It is time.

It is time for a change, and I for one believe that Mahatma Ghandi had it right. "You must BE the change you wish to see in the world."

It's time for me to be the change.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think that Barack Obama is perfect. However, his major issues are my major issues and we share the same viewpoint. Yes, he's fresh to Washington and I welcome that like a breath of fresh air. Give me someone who has not been mired in the political corruption for so long that their character is dead.

I'm sick of waiting. I'm ready to start doing. I urge you to do the same. Even if you support Giuliani or Edwards or Huckabee or Romney or God forbid Clinton Episode II, Attack of the Clones. Here's a list of all the people you can pick from. Find one whose beliefs resonate with your own, and then get behind them! Years of complacency have saddled us with this MESS - bad schools, Americans without healthcare, a war with no end in sight, global warming, fractured families and a Godless nation.

If you choose to just sit on your duff and wait and see what unfolds, remember: those who refuse to make their voice heard during an election don't get to complain at the outcome.

My water baby

See my profile picture? Homegirl lives to frolic in the water.

The apple doesn't fall far, people...

Dogs can lock sliding glass doors

Yes, yes they can. I went out and got a small plastic splash pool for Jackson and I today then we came home and set it up. After putting some water in it, we went upstairs to change into swimsuits and to sunscreen up.

We were outside splish-splashing and the dogs were going crazy with splash envy. Katie jumped up on the sliding glass door against the handle and managed to flip the lock latch closed. So Jackson and I were locked out of the house with nothing but two towels and a tube of sunscreen.

I was so panicked that I didn't even have time to be MAD. The kid down the street showed me how to break and enter into my own home by disassembling the screen on an unlocked window.

Note to self: lock windows each night. That kid knows how to break in.

Not Good Enough For My Baby

No single event in my life has brought with it a better understanding of God's Father heart than becoming a parent. There is no greater joy to me than seeing my son happy after achieving a new milestone. There is no greater panic or heartbreak than seeing him cry out in pain after a fall. I don't believe I quite grasped God's unconditional love until I had a little love of my own to love unconditionally. I didn't "get" it.

And like God's love for us, I love Jack and want only the best of everything for him. To that ends, I make 90% of Jackson's baby food from fresh, organic fruits and vegetables. I buy a few jars for when we are out and about. It's easier to keep a jar fresh. :) This morning, I sat Jack in his exersaucer as I pitted, peeled and pureed a few ripe mangoes. Jackson LOVES mangoes. As I judiciously pared away any slightly brownish spots, Jackson hopped and begged for a scrap. "No, honey" I said, "these parts aren't good enough for my baby."

Which made me think of how many times I hopped and begged and cried out for something God was trying to keep me away from. How many times He said it wasn't good enough for me, but I insisted.

When I had finally had enough of my little monkey begging for bad fruit, I gave in. I gave him a tiny bite of the discarded pieces he was begging for. I thought maybe he would finally learn to trust my discernment when it came to what was and wasn't good for him. He greedily sucked in the fruit. The corners of his mouth turned down and his eyes held a look of shock. Tears of disbelief welled in his eyes, as he couldn't believe his mother would feed him something so distasteful. He didn't know what to do! He let the piece of fruit fall out of his mouth, down his shirt, and into the seat of his exersaucer somewhere.

And how many times has God finally thrown up His hands and let me have that which I clamored for even though He had tried to warn me about it? And how many times in life have I sat there, eyes wide with shock and filled with tears, mouth agape...wondering WHY God had given me this struggle/bad marriage/poor health/car trouble/whatever?

How many times have I insisted on having that which God had deemed was not good enough for His baby?

Thank you God, for giving me a new perspective to help me learn more about You today. Help us all to trust You more. Nobody wants to eat rotten mangoes.

Grown Up Grilled Cheese

For lunch today:

Whole grain bread slices, buttered on the outside and filled with apple butter and brie. Grill until golden and crisp on each side, then enjoy the perfect marriage of salt and sweet and fruit and cream.

Love Thursday

What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It's the only thing that there's just too little of. So here is what I'm loving today:

1) Acupuncture. Have I sung its praises to you before? Yesterday, couldn't breathe through my nose. Today I went to see Hot Doctor (more on this later) and then had an acupuncture session with the chiro/acu/massage therapist. The second the last needle went in (it totally doesn't hurt, don't be such a wussy), down came the rain. Everything started draining and congestion just melted away. I could feel the energy flowing. I don't know how it works. All I know is that it does work, for all kinds of ailments, and that is enough for me.

2) Hot Doctor. My doctor is awesome. He's young, vibrant, well dressed and impeccably coiffed. He's brilliant and open minded. He listens. He takes my ideas into consideration and lets me feel in control of my treatment. He respects that I know my body. And, he's incredibly cute with a very darling socially awkward constantly blushing thing going on that just makes him so stinking adorable to me.

3) My Girls. We're still working on our reunion and despite the miles between us (one in Colorado, one in Florida and two of us here) we have managed to communicate regularly in order to get things done. Last night we set up a private chat room to hash out some ideas and it was so fun. It was like hanging out together, but different.

4) My hankies and eucalyptus essential oil. I gave up Kleenex for hankies last month. Paper waste is for suckas, y'all. I dabbed a touch of eucalyptus on the hankie in my bra yesterday, it was like wearing a personal Vicks vaporizer all day.

5) Blake Lewis and Doug E. Fresh on AI last night. Did you see that? It was awesome. They used all the colloquialisms of old skool rap - "Say ho!" "Put your hands up!" "Somebody scream!". In case you missed it:



What are you loving today?

How big is your God?

My HS posse and I are all busy planning our 15 year class reunion. It's some very exciting stuff. It also requires seeking out each classmate (thank goodness it was a very small private school) to invite them, which has been a challenge because some of them kind of dropped off the face of the earth.

Anyways, in our searching I ended up getting lost in the internets after a click lead to a click lead to another click and then before I knew it, I had found a classmate's brother. He graduated before us, but I went to the same college as he and his wife. I was happy to have found them, because they were supercool people. Very grounded and genuine. So it came as no surprise to me to find his blog entitled "Tangible Theology". Rob's theology is tangible, it always has been. It's part of why I've always had such great respect for him. I'm not saying he's perfect - nobody is! But he accepted his imperfectness and ran with it instead of wallowing in it.

His idea of a faith that is real, livable, and every day resonated with me. Where does your God live? (A hint: it's not in the building that you may or may not go to on Sunday mornings). Since having the idea of a tangible faith at the forefront of my mind, I've been blessed to see God's hand in my days.

On Saturday, I helped with a friend's baby shower. There was a guest who was delayed because she had to turn around and go home to fetch something for her husband. When she then turned back around to return to her route to the party, her path was blocked by a huge accident. The lifeflight helicopter landed on the expressway yards away from her car. She missed being in that accident by minutes. See His hand?

My son has come down today with his first ever baby cold. The child is going to be eight months old next week, and for all his health challenges earlier in life he has never gotten a cold yet. If he had gotten sick last week, it would have been disaster for me - and the shower. If he had gotten sick just a month ago, I probably would have lost it. Moving with a teething baby was a nightmare enough. A teething sick baby would have been unbearable. See His hand?

Try something with me today. Just for today, ditch "religion" and get faith. Real faith. Living faith. Faith you can feel like sand between your toes on the beach. See all the ways God is amazing in your life.

I am so guilty of making my God small. I do it all the time without even thinking about it! I put him in a little box and place it on a shelf marked "faith" and leave Him there. I pull him out before heading to church and then return home to put Him away again. This week, I'm taking God out of the box.

My God is too big for this box.

I'm it! I've been tagged by Sam

"Rules"

After posting these rules, each player proceeds to list 8 relatively random facts/habits about himself/herself. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, leaving them a comment on their blogs to let them know.

1. I really hate talking on the phone. If you ever call me and I don't call you back, please don't take it personally. I just REALLY hate the phone. I used to like the phone. Never as much as my gab-a-lot mother, but it was OK. Ever since getting pregnant, I've had an aversion to telephone conversations. It gets annoying when everybody calls every day to see how you're feeling after you've spent far too long puking your guts out (I had "morning" sickness well into my 2nd tri). Then after the baby came, I found I had neither time nor hands for the phone. So I hate the phone. Except for texting, because that doesn't require talking and I can reply in my own time.

2. I don't have a favorite food. This is odd, because I am a Fat Chick. But that's also WHY I'm a Fat Chick. I love ALL food. There are few foods I hate - one of them is anchovies. They taste hairy.

3. When I turned 30 I vowed that I would never again ever leave the house barefaced, because I was getting old. And I never have since. Even if it was just tinted moisturizer with SPF and lip balm, not a single one of you has ever seen me 100% without makeup. Trust me, this is a good thing for you.

4. I have anxiety disorder. When something stresses me out, I get physically ill and I have trouble breathing. I have fainted from freakouts. I'm so lame.

5. I never had coffee until after my son was born. I still don't care for the aroma or the taste, really. I dress it up with flavored syrups and lots of Silk creamer. It's not about the taste. It's about the lack of sleep and therapeutic caffeine.

6. Dora the Explorer annoys the puppy piss out of me. Yes, I know my child is part Latino. No, I don't think that means he should have to try to figure out what her Spanglish is.

7. I get just the tiniest bit happy when I get sick and have to go to the doctor, because I think my doctor is the cutest doctor ever. He's so yummy.

8. When my husband goes somewhere just him and the baby, I panic the whole time they're gone because everybody I love most in the world and live for are all in one car and something bad might happen to them. This fear doesn't play nice with #4. Also, I am somewhat upset that my husband doesn't share the same ridiculous fear when I leave with the baby.

I do hereby tag Michelle, Robyn and Suzi, since they are my only other blogger friends who remain untagged.

Buffalofu Sandwiches

I love the versatility of tofu. You can make it taste like almost anything. As I pondered this fact, I thought about how much we missed buffalo wings. And then I thought - chicken tastes like nothing. Tofu tastes like nothing. I'll bet I can make tofu taste like buffalo chicken. I made buffalo tofu sandwiches for dinner tonight.

The key to making tofu marinate well is boiling it first. Cut it how you want to serve it, in small cubes, big cubes or like I did tonight, slices. Boil a pot of water and add your cut tofu and boil it for 5 minutes. Take the tofu out of the water with a slotted spoon and place it on a stack of paper towels on top of a plate (or if you're in my house, a stack of clean cotton wash cloths) then stack more towels on top and weigh down the top with a few more plates. This pushes all the water out of the tofu and gets it ready to soak in whatever marinade you put it in next.

You may think this process sounds cumbersome, but I guarantee it's far less gory than defrosting a piece of cow, then trimming the fat off, then marinating it.

Anyways, so I boiled and squeezed out the water from the tofu then marinated it in wing sauce. After about an hour of marinating, I heated a skillet then added a swish of butter (benefit of being ovo-lacto-pescatarian: you can still have butter) and placed 2 of the marinated slices in the skillet to brown.

Meanwhile, I added some blue cheese crumbles to some light blue cheese dressing. Because there is no such thing as too much stinky cheese.

After browning both sides, I put a slice of buffalofu on a whole grain bun, adding a fwap of enhanced blue cheese dressing and a few baby spinach leaves (to serve as "lettuce").

Hubby says it was so good he would even REQUEST it again! We give Buffalofu Sandwiches two thumbs up. :)

...and Mothers In Law everywhere rejoice...

Please make sure my darling husband's mother never finds out about this.

His Mother's Son

I love sour and salty things. I love lemons, olives, and pickles. If I'm eating potato chips, they're salt & vinegar or dill pickle chips.

When I was pregnant, I ate a LOT of pickles. I couldn't get enough pickles. So, it should come as no surprise to see that my child has inherited a great love for a quality dill pickle.



His baby hair is starting to break out into wavy curls, he's inherited Mommy's hair texture. Every day with him is so fun, he grows up a little each day and I love watching his little personality blossom. He is a full time job, he's exhausting and awesome. Being a Mommy is the only job I've ever been really good at. He makes every day an adventure, and I love seeing how exciting, big, fresh and new the world is through his eyes. He loves his puppies, he hates bright sunshine in his face, he despises diaper changes and adores baths.

And he loves pickles. All his pickley pickles.

Happy Love Thursday!

This week I love:

The healing pedi I indulged in last night at Mario Tricoci's. DAMN. I was skeptical about a pedicure that costs more than most of my shoes. It was so worth it. And honestly, I only buy cheap shoes. Seriously, I live in Crocs and Reefs. Anyways, everyone should experience an amazing pedi like this at least once in their lives before they die. I think I know what a certain daddy is getting for Father's Day!

Bella and Kate's new Bamboo Quick Control Collars with Built in Leashes. Bella loves to dash out the door and be an escape artist. It's so nice to just be able to reach down and have an instant leash to corral her in with.

My poo guy. Of course, I'd rather have a POOL guy, but we don't have a pool. Yet. In the meantime, a dude who comes to scoop up doggie doo so we don't have to is such a lovely luxury. When we moved in, I told Tim that we would take turns doing it until we fought over whose turn it was, then we'd hire a poo guy. That took all of two weeks!

Homemade iced lattes. My coffee habit is now completely out of control, 6 oz. of beans lasts me, um, about a day and a half. I've been brewing a whole push pot at a time and chilling it in the fridge for iced lattes. Sometimes with a swirl of chocolate syrup for iced mocha lattes. I really need to up the sleep or cut back on the coffee. Unfortunately, it's easier to find coffee than it is sleep!

Everyone call my cell phone

My new ringback tone is hy-sterical!

Midnight Rendevous

I saunter up next to him and slide my fingers up his neck. "Hello, Darling" I say. "I've waited all week for this. I couldn't wait to see you. Tim and the baby have finally gone to bed - we can be alone together, at last." I slowly undo his top. He turns to me, glistening blonde in the moonlight. I can wait no longer. As I slowly caress him with my lips, my heart races with anticipation. I swoon over his taste. I must have more.

No, it's not what you think. I'm talking about the delectable bottle of Muscat I've had chilling for myself all week long. By the way, do you think Harlequin is hiring? I'm pretty good at this smack.

It's just me, the Muscat, and SNL on the Tivo while my Root Veggie Medley roasts for the next hour. Now if you'll pardon me, I have a previous engagement. :)

I can't believe I just burnt freaking butter.

This probably wouldn't be a big deal to any mere mortal. But I am a Cooking Goddess! I BURNT BUTTER! The outrage! Oh, the humanity! (OK it's actually "oh the bovinity" but humanity sounds much more serious and dreadful).

I went to college for this crap, and I just burnt butter. (I was a Secondary Education, Home Economics Major. YES, Home Ec is a major!)

My cooking ego is deflated.

My husband just laughed at me, recounting the very first time I ever burnt anything two years ago. He says "Remember that one time you burned toast and you cried?" Oh, yeah. I remember that, Pal. Thank you for reminding me though. Why don't you just give me a bunch of paper cuts and pour lemon juice and salt on them? (For the record, it was French Toast and I was upset because I had gone out of my way to get fabulous bread for it. I was just learning our old electric stove and without a visual of how high the flame was I cranked it up too high.)

Thankfully, Hubby also fondly remembers my MacGyver-like dinner concoction back in the day when we first started dating. He had worked late and we were hungry, but neither one of us was in any mood to go get food. We were at his place which = he had no groceries. I poked around the fridge and pantry and found sufficient ingredients to make a pasta with veggies and cheese sauce. (Dry vermicelli, frozen California blend veggies, a dab of cream cheese, a splash of milk, some grated parmesan, olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.) The dinner ranks as one of my Greatest Hits because his fridge shelves housed only: a leftover smattering of cream cheese in a tub, one last swig of milk and some wine. I walked into an "empty" kitchen and walked out with two plates piled high, and it wasn't at all horrible. I think it was then that he recognized my phat mad kitchen skillz.

Yet, for all my skillz I still burnt butter this morning. Apparently, I had let my skillet heat a little too high for a little too long. Lesson learned.

I think this will help get me off kitchen duty for tomorrow though, as I bask in the warmth of my very first Mothers Day. :)

Aw, crap. It's Love Thursday again.

Today I love:

Sunny days. It was awesome out today, and I thoroughly enjoyed cruising around with the windows down.

My girlfriends. After a very long dry spell of no social hours, I was finally able to get together with my mommy friend today for a nice walk with our boys. It was awesome. I had really missed her company while we dealt with the move. It's nice to get back to a sense of normalcy, finally.

My new town. I spent some of that cruising with the windows down time investigating the city we now call "home". Um, it's a pretty awesome town! The downtown area is bustling and full of some super prime looking restaurants. I have nearly all the shopping I will ever need within a brief drive. I kind of love it here, and I'm really surprised. Our last place was in my hometown, where I grew up. I knew it like the back of my hand. I am more than happy to learn this town inside and out. It rocks.

Who moved my cheese?

Our house is the Land of Boxes. Unpacking is hard with a baby. He really isn't a fan of being anywhere except Mom's lap lately. So I get very little unpacking done during the day. Then Daddy comes home, and it's time for dinner, and then there's dishes, and then I have to fold that one last load of laundry that I managed to get done earlier in the day...and before you know it, it's bedtime. And then tomorrow, it starts all over again.

So right now, we still have boxes all over the place. Most of them have now been arranged in a rat-maze like configuration so we can get from point A to point B. Here's my problem: I never find my cheese at the end of the maze! Poop.

This is what I do with time to myself

I just downloaded some mp3's.

1) Wonder Pets "The Phone is Ringing" song - to use as the ringtone on my cell. I am sickeningly super geeked out for this.

2) Blue's Clues "Mail Song" and "We Just Got a Letter". I will use "Mail Song" as the .wav for when I get new email in Outlook. I think I'll use "We Just Got a Letter" as the notification sound for when I get a new text on my cellie.

Shibby! More wine! I need more wine!

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

Ah, blessed Saturday night. Last month, I reached a point of utter exhaustion and Mommy burnout. Six and a half months of being up all night had worn me down to the point that I couldn't take it any more. We agreed that during the week, I would continue to manage all the nighttime parenting so Tim could be fresh for work the next day but I would get Saturday nights off. One night a week, I can go to bed and sleep all night, baby-free.

I opened up a bottle of merlot with dinner. None for hubby, all for me. Parents who co-sleep are wise to not drink. I'll be crashing my drunk ass out in the guest room. :)

I think I'll take the rest of this bottle of wine with me to a nice bubble bath. And then beddy bye I go...

I'm so lame. I used to look forward to Saturday nights to go out clubbing and have a good time. Now I look forward to Saturday nights so I can sleep. I feel so old!

Jackson has inherited his Mom's love for music.

I am an audiophile. I love music of all kinds. My CD collection ranges from classical to R&B, some Metal, some Rap, some Pop, some Funk, some Soul, you name it.

I Tivo'd this great concert in HD on the MTVHD channel. It was filmed in IMAX so you get the whole surround sound concert experience. It opened with Sting performing "Desert Rose", then George Clinton with his Parliament Funkadelic and Mary J. Blige did "One Nation Under a Groove" and "Atomic Dog". Kid Rock brought it with "Bawitdaba", Sheryl Crow did a very lame acoustic set, Roots performed with B.B. King, Macy Gray did "I Can't Wait to Meetchu", Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas did "Smooth", and Al Green sang "Take Me To the River" with Dave Matthews Band. The whole concert was filmed at Chicago's Soldier Field. There might be more to the show, but we're watching the Reverend Al and I'm not fast forwarding to find out. I LOVE Al Green.

Jack has been bouncing and grooving throughout (except for the Sheryl Crow song). If there is one legacy I can leave to my child, it will be my great love for all kinds of music. It makes me smile.

Miracles never cease.

Those in my inner-inner posse are the only ones who will understand what this post is about.

For weeks now I have worried and fretted about the whereabouts of my loved one. I didn't know where they were, they weren't able to tell me either. Today is that person's birthday, and all week long I have been dreading this day because I knew I would feel their absence so acutely it would sting.

I woke up in the worst of moods after a fitful night's sleep. I went through the motions of waking up and starting my day in a zombie-like state, telling myself if I could just get through this day tomorrow would be better.

Then the phone rang. It was them. My heart caught in my throat as I answered the phone.

They are okay.

I can have a good day now, at least I know they're alive. Not knowing what was happening, or where they were or if they were all right was a special kind of hell on earth that I would never wish on anyone.

Thank you, God, for taking care of that person despite some of their poor choices and a far from ideal situation.

Announcing...total CFL conversion!

I'm just back from IKEA and Home Depot. A CFL has been procured for each lamp in the house. I have to install a few of them yet, but after that I will be DYING to see if there's any change in our electric bill.

My "No Incandescent Bulb Left Behind" program makes Bush's "No Child Left Behind" program look like a failure. Oh no wait, it IS a failure!

Which reminds me of this bit of hilarity that I MUST own sometime soon:


Oh, come ON. Don't even try to tell me you didn't laugh! Props to Coupon Chris for mentioning this specialty apparel the other night. I love it!

Happy Love Thursday!

Today I am loving my alternative cleaning products. I love that you can DRINK the stuff I clean with and not die. You'd probably get an upset stomach, but you wouldn't die! And it works just as effectively if not better than the toxic crap I used to buy. Today I whipped up several bottles of all-purpose cleaning spray (for counter tops, bathrooms, you name it.) Want to try?

You'll need:
16 to 24 oz trigger spray bottle (Wal-Mart, .98)
Borax (slightly toxic, but you barely use any)
White distilled vinegar
Dr. Bronner's Liquid Soap
Hot water
*Optional: essential oils to scent (your choice, I used lavender and peppermint. You could use a splash of vanilla if you don't have any essential oils).

Put 1 T Borax and 2 T vinegar in bottle. Add hot water to neck of bottle. (Leave head room for soap and for the offset liquid when you put the sprayer back in). Swish to fully dissolve Borax. Scent with desired oils, add 1/4 c Dr. Bronner's (you may sub 1/8 c liquid dish soap). Put sprayer on, swirl bottle around to blend ingredients. Grab a cleaning rag & away you go!!!! (I prefer a microfiber cleaning cloth, but any old rag will do).

My bathrooms are clean & smell purdy. Plus, this recipe is phosphate-free, so you're not polluting our rivers, lakes and streams when you rinse it down the sink. And here's the part that everyone (especially Coupon Chris) will love: the first bottle will cost you about the same as a bottle of 409 or Fantastik when you add in the cost of all your supplies and the empty bottle. After that, it's about $0.40 to refill it each time. Momma liiiiiiiike. ;)

I am also loving that I have just used up my very last ever paper towel. Gone are the days where I bought them because that's what everyone does and I thought you needed them to get by. Paper towels, I bid you and your wastefulness at $3 a roll, you and your stupid spindle that takes up a 6" x 6" footprint of my counter space, you and your tree killing shenanigans f*cking adieu.

My Farewell to paper towels Haiku:

Angry. Paper. Waste.
Now I use cotton wash rags
And I am happy!

Does anyone know where the Band-Aids are?

I just sliced half of my thumbnail off - not a pretty sight, let me tell you! It's bleeding (I have a piece of TP squeezed on it right now) and needs a bandage. Now, which of these boxes are the band-aids in? One my darling husband packed but neglected to label, of course...

Oh and just so ya know, those little holes on the side of the washer that the water drains out through? Those can slice off your thumbnail if you catch it at just the wrong angle. Ouch!