The Business of Being Born

The Business of Being Born is a new documentary film that was executive produced by Ricki Lake. It explores how birthing trends in America have changed over the years, and how our birth process differs from every other developed nation in the world, with a much higher infant and maternal mortality rate. After experiencing my own intervention-addled labor and eventual emergency cesarean section delivery with Jackson, I was sure I wanted to see the film. I was also sure I wanted to see it without the distraction of Jackson being around. I'm also pretty sure that Tim didn't really want to see an hour and a half of awesome vaginas, so I figured I'd better watch it while he's away. I ended up watching it with Jackson this morning.

I will be honest - there were moments that made me tear up. Pretty much every time a mother pushed out a baby on her own then gloriously lifted her baby up into her arms, a look of blended triumph, amazement and elation on her face...I cried. I cried thinking, "that's what I want." And then I cried more thinking, "I may never get to have that."

In shock, I listened as various doctors and midwives shared the statistics of birthing practices around the world. The US is so backwards when it comes to how we give birth. Then slowly, anger rose in me as they described the multiple interventions that cascade one into another and eventually result in an emergency section. I have been suspecting that I may have been a victim of the system, and hearing this information confirmed it.

I left the experience of the film steeled with a new determination to find a midwifery based practice who will take a VBAC with primary diabetes. I feel that based on the evidence I can produce of my first birth - my perfectly controlled blood sugars all verified by lab work, my perfectly sized baby, unheard of in diabetic mothers - I feel that if I can diminish the fact that I am diabetic since I am so well controlled it is almost a non-issue in my pregnancy, maybe I can sweet talk someone to take me if I also do parallel traditional "high risk" prenatal care. I won't put either me or our next baby (whenever we decide to start trying for next baby, which is not yet) at undue risk. I just want to have the opportunity to give my body the chance to do what it was designed to do. I'm not saying I have to have a natural birth. I just want a chance. Hopefully I can find a practice who is willing to give me that chance.

I also left the film experience reduced to tears, both mourning the loss of the birth that I wanted for Jackson afresh and also rejoicing in the amazing little person he has become despite of it. In the end, I was glad he was here when I watched the movie. I needed to hug him. I signed to him "hug mama" and he ran across the room to me, wrapping me in one of his passionately sweet embraces - he hugs you so hard, he trembles. We call it a "shakey hug". Of course, this made me cry all the more, and being the wonderful and precious, sensitive and loving little guy that he is, he then covered my face with his sweet baby kisses, adding an emphatic "Mwah!" with each slobbery peck to my tear-soaked cheeks. Like I said, he's become an amazing little person.

The Business of Being Born is currently in limited release in theaters; and available for home viewing from Netflix on DVD or streaming on demand.