*swoon* My Hero!

I was on my way upstairs to get Jackson in bed, carrying my bag, Jackson's ba-ba bag (the little cooler bag we put an ice pack in and several milkies for him to have throughout the night), a shopping tote and probably five other things (classic mom/packmule situation) when my bluetooth headset fell out of my bag.

Let's backtrack on the headset. I know, I'm a princess. Blah blah blah. Whatever. Anyway, for Christmas I got a new Jawbone bluetooth headset. It's awesome. I love it. It looks like a cheese grater in my ear. It's fantastic, I highly recommend it. Anyway, it's kind of a pricey headset and I guard it like it's a national treasure. I like nice things, and I also try to take care of them. Especially electronics. My dad was what they call now an "early adopter" and he always had to have the latest and greatest gadgetry. And he would freak out if we used the wrong cleaning spray to dust his new whatever it was off, or if you vacuumed while the TV was on (allegedly it was bad for the TV?) because those expensive electronic toys were like his pets. So you see, my love for new things that light up and make noise is a genetic code in my DNA.

So my headset falls out of my bag (I call it my shark tooth, because it's a bluetooth and the name "jawbone" makes me think of Jaws and he was a shark), Bella sees it and in her peabrain doggie head says, "Ooh a snack!" and promptly takes it through the doggie door to her backyard. At this point I freaking lost it. I am totally feeling massive stress and pressure with this talking in front of church thing. My mom's coming. She's chronically late. Like it's a medical diagnosis for her, Chronicus Tardius. I have to look up the CPT code for ya. Anyways, I am sure that she will be late and then will be mad that we proceeded without her, and then she will get all huffy and yelly and this will look horrible in our new church that we've only been going to for a few months, but we really and truly love it there but I will be SHAMED from every going back after this ugly scene that plays out in my head... And then there's the talking in front of the entire church on stage under the spotlight. Tim sucks at public speaking so the duty has fallen upon me. I used to rock speeches and performances, but they were not nearly as important and ceremonial as my firstborn son's baby dedication in which we will thank God for the honor of having been entrusted with his precious soul and we will pledge before our family and church community to do everything we can to be Godly parents and raise a fine and upstanding Christian man. So the pressure, the pressure...the stress, the strain the pressure and then the dog takes my shark tooth out to the backyard and I. LOSE. IT.

I am all hysterical and weepy and panicky and can't breathe or think or move or do anything but just crumple down into a heap and cry. I'm so pathetic right now. But seriously, first it was the eyeliner and now I'm stressing about memorizing my Bible verses that I want to use for the baby dedication, and worrying about the Chronicus Tardiusness...and I'm like Tweek on South Park....it's TOO MUCH PRESSURE!

Tim comes downstairs and asks me what's wrong and I'm all "I dropped my shark tooth (jagged cry/wail/inhale) and Bella (cry) took it outside (hyperventilate) and it's dark (weep) and I can't (hyperventilate) find it and (wail) it's off (almost scream) so I can't see the light!!!!!!!"

And he grabs his wallet and puts it in his pocket.

And I say, "How is THAT going to help you find it???" He says he's going to Osco to buy a flashlight.

Oh.

Well, that's a good idea.

I slowly start breathing again. And as he heads out the door, I blurt out, "don't forget batteries!" You know, because at this point somehow I have my stuff together more than he does - me the blathering idiot, compared to his collected cool. Ha. He says, "okay".

Five minutes later, he returns and after a fruitful search of the yard he recovered my very mangled shark tooth. The earbud part has been snapped off the part that looks like a cheese grater and I am just so very sad. I really loved my shark tooth.

I sat with it and somehow figured out how to snap the earbud part back into the cheese grater part. I pressed the button, it powered on. I scream, "HOLY CRAP!" from upstairs and Tim comes running...thinking I was having some kind of meltdown again, I suppose. I showed him the blinking light, we made some test calls and voila - just like that - my shark tooth is all better!!!!!

Yay, yippee, hooray!!!! My husband is the most awesome, sweet, mellow and easygoing creature. He is totally the yin to my yang and tonight he was my super rockstar hero.

I told Jackson that if he grows up to be half as wonderful as his father is, I will consider my mothering him to be the success of my life.