Highs and Lows

So yesterday was a crazy day.

It started out innocently enough. It actually started out pretty awesome. We were invited to a private screening for the whole family of the new film "Happy Feet" on IMAX. I didn't know much about the flick, except that it was a family-friendly animation film.

Happy Feet turned out to be AWESOME. If you plan on seeing the film, skip through this paragraph to avoid spoilers. The movie was a great one for everyone. It had some cleverly-veiled adult humor along with a great message for kids. They matched those up with a strong social responsibility message that everyone needs to hear, then set it to a rocking soundtrack with a huge feel-good vibe. Good stuff! Go see it. Take the whole family. You won't be disappointed, I promise!

After the movie on IMAX at Navy Pier, we all headed home exhausted. We all napped and fed. Some of us had a diaper change. ;) Then suddenly, without warning, the day's tide turned. And none of us even knew it was happening. My Treo's calendar beeped at me to remind me that we had to take Bella the Lab and Katie the Golden to the mall for Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day.

Now I know that Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day sounds like a really fun time but I can tell you first hand that it WAS NOT.

I carefully dressed Jack in his Baby's First Christmas outfit just in case we were able to get a family photo. I donned a red cowl neck blouse and asked Tim to wear his red and white striped button down. It was a full car on the way to the mall. We had to push my front passenger seat forward to fit the stroller behind me next to Jackson because the dogs were in the cargo area. So we all trucked down to Woodfield for our very first ever Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day.

On the way to the mall, Tim and I decided that he would drop me off at the door with the dogs, we would go inside to get in line for Santa pictures and Tim would park and then come in to meet us with Jackson in the stroller. After he dropped the girls and I off, I slowly made my way towards the mall door. Bella and Katie were enthralled with all the sights and sounds and all the people! Bella and Katie LOVE people. They love kids and old ladies and just everyone. They were thrilled to be meeting so many new people. Lots of strangers wanted to meet them and pet them and Bella and Katie were so excited to make their acquaintance. The three of us made our way through the mall, towards the center where the Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day was going on. Every few yards someone new stopped us to pet the girls. Bella and Katie were just in their glory. Katie was actually lying on the marble mall floor, giving up the belly when Mall Security approached me.

"Ma'am", he said, "You can't have dogs in the mall." I explained that it was Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day and we were headed to see Santa and then we were leaving right after. He said nobody had told him of the event and I said "Oh I'm sorry you weren't informed." We proceeded towards the center of the mall where Santa is.

Mall Security Man came back to me, with a backup officer in tow, to tell me "Ma'am, Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day is tomorrow."

I was mortified. Here I was, in the middle of Woodfield Mall, which used to be the biggest indoor shopping mall in the US until the Mall of America in Minneapolis was built, with nearly 150 pounds of shedding, slobbering dogs. I had not one but TWO large dogs. Not tiny little ankle biter chihuahuas either. Oh no. I have a 85 pound Yellow Labrador Retriever and a 55 pound Golden Retriever. These are NOT dogs you can fit in your purse. They're barely dogs we can fit in our SUV!

So Bella and Katie are now thinking that it is time to meet and make friends and shed on Mr. Mall Security and his backup unit. They're sitting and trying to give paw while I stand there, dumbstruck, apologizing profusely and explaining that I was sure that Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day was today.

The two security guards explain to me that no, Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day is tomorrow, so I will have to leave the premises with my two huge dogs immediately. That's fine and I am willing to leave but the problem is that now I am separated from Tim and Jack. I didn't bring my purse in with me, just the dogs. So I don't have my phone to call Tim and even if I did, his phone just so happened to break earlier in the day.

So let's back the bus up a minute and just review: Me, in the mall with two large dogs. Getting kicked out. Or as we geeks say, I was P0WN3D by Mall Security. Separated from husband and baby in what used to be THE LARGEST INDOOR MALL IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I'm near tears. I'm humiliated and exhausted and convinced that I'm going to end up waiting outside the mall in the cold (did I mention I didn't bring my coat in either?) until the mall closes. Or I will have to walk home. I could walk home, it's about 5 miles. But it's freezing out and...just NO. NO! This is NOT happening to me!

And yet it was.

I explained to the security guards that I had to find my husband so we could leave. They said "well does he have a cell phone?" in a tone of voice that said "everybody on the planet has a cell phone, Crazy Lady with the two large dogs in the mall" and I explained that yes he does but it broke today.

So Mall Security had to put out an APB on my husband and I had to describe him in detail like I was giving a description to a court sketch artist of a burglar or rapist. So I tell them that he's 6'2", blonde hair, blue eyes, wearing a red and white striped shirt and blue jeans, pushing a stroller with our son in it and the stroller is beige and sage green. And his name is Tim and if they find him if they could please direct him towards the exit they are banishing me to wait outside of so we can all go home in shame.

And then my shameful walk through the mall towards my exit began. The dogs had no idea what was going on. They thought it was all a new fun adventure. We made our way back to the entrance from whence we came. We waited there patiently as mall shoppers stopped to meet Bella and Katie and pet them and tell them they were very good girls. And they were very, very good girls. Tim finally approached and said, laughing, "You got kicked out, huh?" and went to go get the Jeep. We loaded the dogs up in the back of the Jeep and headed home, Tim ribbing me the entire way over how I messed up the days.

The dogs? They were none the wiser. They thought that the field trip to the mall was AWESOME.

When we got home, I looked again at my Treo. That alarm to remind me of Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day? Oh, I set that to go off a day ahead of time, so on Saturday it would remind me that we had to do that on Sunday. I'm just so sleep deprived I didn't remember that I had set it that way and when I glanced at it quickly, I didn't read that it was a reminder for the next day.

In my defense, when I told Tim that we had to get ready and get to the mall for Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day, he didn't argue or say "I thought that was tomorrow." He said "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." So HE WENT TOO, he just didn't have the dogs. I don't understand how it is that he gets away with making fun of me when he went too. He forgot too. He screwed up too.

I mentioned to him last night over dinner that today we have our monthly Attachment Parenting group meeting at the library. He said, "Okay. You want to take the dogs?" Ha ha ha. Verrrry funny.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to start getting the five of us ready, again, for Take Your Dog or Cat's Picture With Santa Day at the mall. Hell yeah I'm going back. After all that, I'm getting my dogs' picture with Santa.

This time, it's personal.