Well, I officially quit pumping. Including the time it takes to wash and sterilize all the parts, I was spending 4+ hours a day pumping my bewbs to get maybe a grand total of 8 ml of breast milk. Total. For the whole day.
The time I spent doing it just wasn't worth what I was getting out of it. Jack is officially going to be a bottle baby.
At first it broke my heart. I cried. I asked God why...why He would take this away from me in addition to everything else I had to give up over the past two weeks. And then I realized - He had to take it all away so I could see that He gave me what I wanted to begin with...He gave me Jack. What more do I need? He gave me the dream of my heart, the one wish I nurtured for so many years. The one thing I wanted, a healthy and happy baby is mine. Maybe I got greedy, maybe I started to ask for too much.
I was talking to my friend Alice yesterday, and we were discussing how much more difficult new motherhood is compared to what they tell you in the parenting books. I really feel like I was duped! I had spent the past 8 months reading parenting books like I was cramming for final exams. I really thought I was prepared for these first two weeks! Boy, was I ever wrong. Now that I'm in it, I feel like I need to be SuperWoman to do it all. But there are times where I'm washing dishes and holding the baby and the phone is ringing and I'm cooking dinner and I have to go to the bathroom too...it's nearly impossible! Maybe I could be better at this if I had gotten my Regulation Issue SuperWoman Cape when they discharged me from the hospital. They gave me all kinds of things...a cheesy diaper bag, that puffer thing to blow into to work out my lungs, weird nylon disposable panties...but no cape.
I really could use that cape.
It makes me laugh when I hear people say that stay at home moms have it easy. Because we're not out there earning paychecks, sitting in endless meetings, patching runs in our hose with clear nail polish, laughing at our bosses' bad jokes. Tell me again how easy I have it, when I don't have a moment to pee much less take a shower, as my shirt bears spit up stains as a badge of honor, while I'm changing a poopy diaper as I get ready to walk the dogs right after I feed the baby...when I haven't even had lunch myself. Oh yeah, it's a freakin' picnic.
They really should give you a cape.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
On bottles, breasts and capes
felicia Wednesday, October 11, 2006
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2 Responses:
I totally agree. Although I would need some cool Wonder Woman boots to go with the cape.
If they explained exactly what being a new parent is like, people would run screaming. It is a rite of passage, and yes those spit up stains are a badge of honor. Who else but a mom would let someone barf on them?
Stay at home moms do not have it easy. I really wish more people would realize that.
Being a stay at home mom is something I know a thing or two about, I did it for 7 years. There is no way I let people continue to believe that it is the easy way out especially with a little baby. It does get easier though the older they get, especially once you get a routine established.
I am so glad you worked out the whole feeding thing, you now have the greatest gift, enjoy him.
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