The Brown Blog

When I started this blog, I swore I would blog about everything regarding the baby, except I wouldn't blog about poo. Nobody cares about baby poo except the parents and the pediatrician. But yesterday's was one worth noting.

****WARNING: POO TALK IMMINENT*****

TURN BACK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE.
OR YOUR PEE, EITHER WAY.

It has been dubbed Gigantor The Turdslide. Moms are familiar with the up-the-back baby poo. This was up the back, up the front, down the legs, on the socks...there was literally poo EVERYWHERE. It was as if I told Jackson to bring on the poo, and he BROUGHT ON THE POO. The disturbing thing is, I didn't even know it had occurred because breastmilk poo isn't stinky. It smells kind of like mild yogurt to me. So I didn't know it was there until I picked him up. For his part, Jackson was happier than a pig in...well, you know. His new favorite trick is rolling back and forth and playing with his feet during diaper changes. I didn't need a diaper changing pad yesterday, I needed a diaper changing TARP.

This was far worse than Tuesday morning, when we awoke to learn that Jackson's diaper had failed somehow (I suspect user error as Daddy put it on him) and leaked all over the damn place. Poor baby was covered in pee, his entire onesie and sleeper were soaked with urine from his neck to his toes. I undressed him and gave him a nice sponge bath to clean him up. I turned my back for a millisecond to get a fresh diaper. As I turned back, I found Pee Pee Boy playing fireman. Pissed all over his damn self again. I popped Pee Pee Boy in his mesh sling and we showered off.

Nobody warned me of these dangers of baby care!