From stomachaches to getting kneed in the tummy

When hubby and I learned I was pregnant on the day before Valentine's Day, I couldn't have been more excited. It's been a long, hard road from my bad childhood to here - the land where I have everything I've always dreamed of. I seriously am so blessed. I have my dream life. I stay at home full time and take care of household matters, acting as full time Chief Operating Officer of Our House. I have two gorgeous, fun, sweet puppies and two very affectionate cats. I'm married to a handsome, successful gentleman who adores me. I mean, life isn't perfect, I still burn the toast every now and again, and problems do surface. But overall and especially compared to my previous incarnations, this life is amazing.

Just over three years ago I was stuck in a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage. I was trapped by my word, and by my ex husband's brain tumor. I mean, I could leave...but what kind of bitch leaves the guy with a brain tumor? I'm one tough cookie, but I'm anything but heartless. So I stuck it out, and prayed for a clean bill of health so we could both move on from a relationship that had grown toxic to both of us. Both my ex and I are in much better places in life. He is enjoying a healthy relationship with a sweet single mom, and of course my life has progressed too.

The funny thing is, I certainly didn't expect to be sitting here today. When I left my ex, I had sworn off men, sworn off love, sworn off relationships...for GOOD. (Ha ha, we see how long that lasted). And one day, I finally grew tired of being alone and just wanted some good company for a change. I didn't want a sleazeball who only wanted to get in my pants. I didn't want a married guy who would give me all those same old lines "we've grown apart, my marriage is loveless, we're only together for the kids". I just wanted a nice guy to sit and have a drink with. Maybe dinner, if he was worth spending more than 15 minutes on. And then I met Tim. And we had drinks, and dinner, and dessert, and I had to force myself to leave.

He was so compatible with me, and with what I wanted out of life. We both wanted a family of our own, we both discussed our desire to be foster parents and or adoptive parents some day. (Note: any guy who doesn't run screaming when you say "I really would like to be a foster parent someday" after they've known you for all of 15 minutes is QUALITY. Do not let that man go!) We both loved animals and were active in various volunteer organizations. We both shared a background and experience in IT. We talked about family, we talked about kids, we talked about SAP/R3 conversions. We talked about everything openly, our divorces and where we were now emotionally. It's like God was looking down upon us and thought "Yeah, they're ready to meet each other now. Enough monkeying around with the other losers. Now they'll appreciate just how great a match I had in mind for them all along." And we do. We SO do. The minute I pulled away from the restaurant that evening, I picked up the phone and called one of my dearest friends. "I'm going to get married again" I declared. I just KNEW.

That was on November 9, 2004. We spent our first Thanksgiving together, volunteering at the Lincoln Park Community Shelter in Chicago where we prepared Thanksgiving dinner for 50 homeless people. It was so gratifying. We spent our first Christmas together a month later, at my cousins' Tracy and Mike's house. My cousins are so awesome. They love and accept whoever I love and accept into my life. I told them I was bringing Tim. Tracy had a Christmas stocking up for him with his name on it in gold glitter with the rest of the family stockings, and my cousins all brought him gifts for under the tree so he wouldn't be left out when we were unwrapping. I mention my cousins' awesomeness because they did all this to welcome Tim into our family...and they had never met him before. They just knew that he was someone incredibly special to me. That night, Tim asked me to move in with him. I moved in January. On October 1st, he proposed in the kitchen and of course I said yes. I mean, we all knew I was going to say yes a whole paragraph ago. :) And that is how, on December 10th of 2005, one year, one month and one day after we first met, I found myself standing barefoot in a white dress on a pristine beach in St. Thomas, exchanging wedding vows with Tim. That palm tree in the middle of the picture? That's right where we were.


When we returned home from our honeymoon in paradise, we began trying to conceive in earnest. Neither of us wanted to wait any longer to realize our dream of having a family. We had both waited so long just to find each other!

So back to the morning of February 13th. I peed on the stick and waited. Two lines! TWO LINES! I was overjoyed and couldn't wait for my doctor to confirm my two lines. I already had a sneaking suspicion I was pregnant before I peed on the stick. My boobs were sore and I was constantly sick to my stomach. Little did I know that those stomach tickles then would lead to what I feel now.

The most amazing sensation in the world is feeling my baby move around inside of me. I love observing what gets him grooving. He likes the song "Hey Ya" by OutKast and Groove Armada's "I See You Baby" (not sure he gets the pun). He's his mother's child, loves to move to music. He loves fruit. He gets all happy and kicky when I have a peach sliced into cottage cheese. He loves his puppies, and kicks against their heads when they rest on top of him. He HATES bedtime (I hope this is not a sign of things to come!) and it takes him a good 1/2 hour to settle down after I lie down to go to sleep.

I can't wait to meet him. This little person inside me amazes me. He already has a personality, and looks and ideas and limitless potential. He's as individual as you or I. He already has his likes and dislikes, opinions and ideas.

Every day, I sit and rock with my belly. But for all my rocking, he's the one rocking my world.