Really? Is jail all we can do to these people?

Maybe you're a long time friend of mine that reads my blog to keep tabs on what's up with my life. Maybe you're a new friend of mine who decided to read my blog after noticing it on the signature of my emails. Maybe you're a complete stranger who just stumbled in here. Whatever the situation, or our history, I'm not afraid to be open.

I am an adult survivor of child sexual abuse. I'll spare you the gory details at this time, but I will share that the abuse was done to me at the hands of a trusted and beloved family member. It took me about 6 years to reveal to anyone what had happened to me...unfortunately, 7 years is the statue of limitations on this type of crime in Illinois. By the time I did tell someone, I was forced to do so. I was in such a deep depression as a pre-teen that I was suicidal. When I revealed that I wanted to take my own life, I was pressed by a social worker at my school as to why and it finally all came out. My parents had a year to do something about it before the law ran out on me. They chose to never report it. They chose instead to protect the family member by keeping it a secret.

I can never forgive them for that betrayal.

I was a child, and I needed them to stand up for me. I needed them to fight for me, to make sure I knew it wasn't my fault and that I didn't do anything wrong. I needed them to make sure that the person who did do something wrong to me paid for it. But they didn't. They did nothing. Actually, at first they called me a liar. Then they telephoned the accused family member and asked him if what I had accused him of was true. And he readily admitted it. But still they chose to do nothing. As far as I am concerned, those who do nothing when crimes are committed against their children are equivalent to accomplices in those crimes. Maybe they didn't rob the bank, but they drove the getaway car.

By the time I had matured emotionally enough to face these demons, I was in my 20's. I put myself into an intensive therapy program. I addressed my relationship with my parents, which by at that point had truly been damaged beyond repair but I was bent on trying to rescue it. I addressed my feelings towards my abuser. I tracked him down and found that he had been arrested on separate charges, 9 counts of criminal sexual assault of a minor. He had been sentenced to 23 years in prison, but only ended up serving less than half of those years, due to changes in the Truth In Sentencing Act that went into effect after his incarceration. My abuser was released from prison about 2 weeks after I met my husband. During that time period, I was dealing with all the emotional ramifications of knowing my abuser was going to be free again. I had to be honest with someone I didn't know very well about an incredibly sensitive subject. At this point in our courtship, it was so early I figured I'd just put it out there. If he wanted to run away from me because of this I was OK with that. I needed a man who was going to be there for the tough stuff. So I told him. I told him what happened to me, I told him how my parents reacted, I told him how my abuser was arrested later on separate charges (and I consequently was riddled with guilt and felt that those other victims were somehow my fault for not reporting his abuse sooner), I told him how I was now grappling with the emotional fallout of knowing my abuser would soon be a free man having "repaid his debt to society". Tim's reaction was one of acceptance. He didn't pity me, which I would have hated. He felt sympathy for me and let me cry and promised his support during this difficult time. We got through it together.

So, that's my background in sex crimes against children. Anytime I read a story about children being hurt, especially being sexually abused, it just breaks my heart. I've worked through my issues in therapy and I don't continuously suffer as acutely as I have in the past. But it still makes me cry. For just a moment, I am instantly transported back to that cold room with the blue paint. I am helpless and alone and being violated but scared out of my mind to cry out for help. All those old feelings and fears and hurt come rushing back in a moment, and I feel such empathy for the victims I'm reading about.

Like these kids: http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/07/30/family.rape.ap/index.html

CINCINNATI, Ohio (AP) -- A woman who molested at least one of her five children and prompted four of them to have sex with each other has been sentenced to 40 years in prison.

Robin Kraft, 26, had pleaded guilty in June to two charges of rape and four counts of child endangering. Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge David Davis on Friday imposed the maximum sentence, saying Kraft should not be released from prison while she can bear children.

Prosecutors said the children have been psychologically harmed.

"These children were not beaten, there were no cuts or stabs, but the way these kids act now after living with this woman requires prolonged treatment to be normal, if ever," said Assistant Hamilton County Prosecutor Mark Piepmeier.

Prosecutors said Kraft and her husband, Paul Kraft, 32, sexually abused their four sons and one daughter, ages 1 to 6, in 2004.

In March, Paul Kraft received five life sentences on five rape charges and 96 additional years on 12 charges of pandering sexually oriented material involving a minor. He is ineligible for parole.

Prosecutors say Paul Kraft encountered an undercover Secret Service agent last March in an Internet chat room called "baby and pre-teen sex."

In an online exchange, Kraft offered to rape his 3-year-old daughter live on the Internet if another person would do the same so Kraft could watch, prosecutors say. The agent contacted Hamilton County sheriff's deputies, who arrested Kraft at home.

The children were placed in foster care. They had limited language skills at the time, but developed enough to tell authorities what happened to them, prosecutors said.

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Stories like this just kill me, and I feel all my resentment towards my abuser for getting away with such a light penalty rushing back, filling my veins with seething anger. As far as I'm concerned, all of these penalties that child sexual predators get are light. There is no penalty harsh enough, no payment deep enough, no pain soul-crushing enough to properly punish these offenders for what they do to a child's heart.