It's a pantless revolution

So, last night I was home watching Dr. Phil on Tivo when Bella stepped on the remote. It stopped my Dr. Phil and sent me to live TV, and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a WOMAN, IN A BEAR SUIT, STRIPPING.

It was the total "trainwreck" phenomenon. I was really into the Dr. Phil, but you can't turn the channel when it's a WOMAN IN A BEAR SUIT STRIPPING. I mean, can you? I could not look away.

*click click turn* The key turns in the lock and the doorknob spins...hubby's home, maybe I should change the channel. I mean, this is some weird shit. And yet, I can't. I have to keep watching the WOMAN IN A BEAR SUIT STRIPPING.

*creak, steps* Tim comes in down the hall, sets down his bag and looks at the TV.

Him: What is this?
Me: It's a WOMAN IN A BEAR SUIT, STRIPPING. I CANNOT LOOK AWAY.
Him: It's a WHAT?
Me: A WOMAN IN A BEAR SUIT, STRIPPING!

He plants it on the couch and we proceed to watch the WOMAN IN A BEAR SUIT STRIPPING. They take it all off! The funbits are blocked out and those aren't shown on TV, but people go on this show to strip and dance naked. It's a real show. I thought maybe it was some weird special, but NO. I checked the TV guide...it came on like 4 times in a row!

We stayed up until midnight watching various people stripping on this show, called Pants-Off Dance-Off. There was a stripper who called herself a "dancer", had a bangin' body but was a total butterface. There was a Asian guy who called himself Masta Wong, was a pornographer by trade and was looking forward to his turn "in front of the camera for a change". There was this hideous woman, homely as all hell, with crazy Garth Algar (Wayne's World) hair who went on and on about how she used to be a mermaid, but traded in her tail for legs. But she gets a lot of work as a Mermaid, because they're so rare. It was so weird. It wasn't even sexy. It was just WEIRD. It was...A WOMAN IN A BEAR SUIT STRIPPING.


In case y'all think I'm lying, it's a real show. Pants-Off Dance-Off, on the FUSETv channel. Here: http://fuse.tv/upload/pantsoff.php