The Name Game

You know what's intimidating as all hell? Naming a person.

There are so many things to consider. Names you like, names your partner likes. What sounds good for a childhood name, how that will convert into a good grown up name. Then if you're a people-pleaser (which I am, but I am determined to not be when it comes to this), you worry about what names your parents/in-laws/other family likes.

At first, I wanted a name that reflected my child's heritage. Then, I didn't care so much. At first, I was bound and determined to keep our chosen name shrouded in secrecy to avoid any potential nay-sayers. Now, I really don't give a flip what anyone besides me and my husband thinks. We were even determined to keep the sex of our child a secret, so we didn't have to deal with a million voices in our ears telling us what to name our baby. But now we've learned the sex and chosen a name, so I can confidently stride forward and reveal exciting things --

First - it's a boy. Or at least, that's what the ultrasound says. At first I was super hella mega upset, I thought for certain it was a girl and we both totally had our hearts set on a daughter. Now that we've had some time to absorb this huge change of events, we're excited to welcome our son to the world. It's great news for my little second cousin Christian, who was born last October and will be one when our baby is born. Christian will have someone close to his own age to play with and grow up with. We're hoping to move closer to my cousins in the South Suburbs in the coming year or so. I have such great memories of me and all my cousins getting together on Sunday afternoons at our Grandma's house. We played in the yard, and had cookouts, and watched baseball with our Tios in the living room and had menudo with our Tias in the kitchen. I would love for my kids to be as close to their cousins as I was to mine. Because I have some pretty awesome cousins. It's pretty bankable that they are going to raise some pretty awesome kids. It would be wonderful for my babies to grow up with the same loving bond I did with extended family. That would mean a lot to me.

Second - we have named him. Just so we're clear on this, that means that we're NOT open to name suggestions. Unless he's born and we look at him and decide that the name we have chosen just does NOT suit him at all, we've already filled out that portion of the birth certificate. I don't think that's very likely, plus I really love the name we've chosen.

So, without further ado, please allow me to introduce you to our precious firstborn son, Jackson Phoenix.



The name Jackson doesn't really carry a lot of cultural or emotional weight with us, we just like the name. Jackson Powers sounds like an amazing grown up name. Jack is a cute little boy name. Jackson Powers don't take no shit offa nobody, cuz that's what his Momma taught him. I envision a tall, handsome guy in a well-tailored suit with a beautiful leather briefcase in hand, on his way to his job as CEO of Something. It's a very BAMF name.

The story behind our son's middle name is, in many ways, just as BAMFy. I had a very bad childhood. I was abandoned as a newborn infant by my mother. She eventually came back, I think she was suffering from severe post partum depression. Wherever she disappeared to, nobody ever spoke of it. I think she thinks that I don't know this happened. All my life, she told me how she wished I had never been born & I ruined her life. She was very physically abusive to me and my brothers.

All I ever wanted was a family of my own. I wanted nothing more than to be a better mom than my mother was, a fresh start and a new beginning. So for me, the symbolism of the Phoenix is all about that - rising again from great struggles, victorious over them. In Chinese mythology, the Phoenix symbolizes virtue, grace, power and prosperity. To me, this child is far more than just my firstborn son. He is symbolic of a lifetime of my hopes and dreams fulfilled. He is my Phoenix, as I have risen from a lifetime of physical and emotional pain and hardship to where I am today. If that's not BAMFy, I don't know what is.