Not Good Enough For My Baby

No single event in my life has brought with it a better understanding of God's Father heart than becoming a parent. There is no greater joy to me than seeing my son happy after achieving a new milestone. There is no greater panic or heartbreak than seeing him cry out in pain after a fall. I don't believe I quite grasped God's unconditional love until I had a little love of my own to love unconditionally. I didn't "get" it.

And like God's love for us, I love Jack and want only the best of everything for him. To that ends, I make 90% of Jackson's baby food from fresh, organic fruits and vegetables. I buy a few jars for when we are out and about. It's easier to keep a jar fresh. :) This morning, I sat Jack in his exersaucer as I pitted, peeled and pureed a few ripe mangoes. Jackson LOVES mangoes. As I judiciously pared away any slightly brownish spots, Jackson hopped and begged for a scrap. "No, honey" I said, "these parts aren't good enough for my baby."

Which made me think of how many times I hopped and begged and cried out for something God was trying to keep me away from. How many times He said it wasn't good enough for me, but I insisted.

When I had finally had enough of my little monkey begging for bad fruit, I gave in. I gave him a tiny bite of the discarded pieces he was begging for. I thought maybe he would finally learn to trust my discernment when it came to what was and wasn't good for him. He greedily sucked in the fruit. The corners of his mouth turned down and his eyes held a look of shock. Tears of disbelief welled in his eyes, as he couldn't believe his mother would feed him something so distasteful. He didn't know what to do! He let the piece of fruit fall out of his mouth, down his shirt, and into the seat of his exersaucer somewhere.

And how many times has God finally thrown up His hands and let me have that which I clamored for even though He had tried to warn me about it? And how many times in life have I sat there, eyes wide with shock and filled with tears, mouth agape...wondering WHY God had given me this struggle/bad marriage/poor health/car trouble/whatever?

How many times have I insisted on having that which God had deemed was not good enough for His baby?

Thank you God, for giving me a new perspective to help me learn more about You today. Help us all to trust You more. Nobody wants to eat rotten mangoes.